Only God is limitless

23 Feb

As I was strolling today (and yes, “strolling” is the appropriate word, as I was only recently released by my physical therapist to do any walking at all, especially in our hilly neighborhood), I was enjoying the mid-70s air, the sunshine, just being able to walk, however slowly I was going. I wasn’t “working out.” I wasn’t even trying to “work out.” I was just free to do a very basic thing – walk.

How I like to spend the days...

Anyway…. As I was walking, I was thinking about the last 2 years and I realized something. In the last 104 weeks, I have been sick or injured for about 70 of them. Yep, 70. That does not include the 16 months that I was developing iron deficiency anemia, which overlaid good and bad weeks. Now, this is not a blog about me feeling sorry for myself, because I don’t, not even a little. In fact, I was pretty shocked when I added it up, because overall it has been a great couple of years, and I don’t look back and feel infirmed.

Because I started having these thoughts at the beginning of my walk, I started pondering it, trying to see what was going on from God’s point of view. Some of you know that my grandmother is 98, still lives alone, drives, walks her dog, cooks, is always dressed to the nines with her hair perfectly coifed and her nails done. My mom is 70, my aunt is 68, and neither seem anywhere close to that. I’m almost 47, and don’t consider myself “middle aged” except in the most literal sense of 47 being about halfway through my life. But since I try to see what God’s teaching me – and I’d say 2 years of almost constant physical difficulty constitutes a clue that He’s trying to get my attention – I tried to shift my gaze.

Important things (Thing 1 and Thing 2)

What I know is that God is limitless. And God alone. I have really learned the lessons of living in freedom, really living my life, in the last five years, and I know there is so much more to learn. And I think, aside from the “slow down” lesson, which I have totally embraced, the other lesson is this: I am not limitless. My body is not limitless. My goal needs to be – and stay – being healthy and strong to go where He sends me. Any other goal… and the real danger is pride.

On Pinterest, many of the pins are photos of women without an ounce of fat, killer exercise routines, and comments from women who want nothing more to look like that. OK, sure, most of them look great. I’m not super keen on the ones that you kind of have to study to determine whether it’s male or female, and I think curves are sexy. But yeah, they look great. They’ve worked hard. Here’s what I know, though, from the times in my life when I’ve looked closest to that:  My body was my primary focus. To look like that, you have to watch everything you eat. You have to schedule your life around exercise. You have to get “in the zone” to be able to push yourself to the limits day after day. It takes over. And it’s completely self-focused… At least for me. I know that I cannot do it without that kind of focus, because I have done it a few times.

And now, at almost-47, I know this, too. While I may feel, in so very many ways, in my twenties or thirties, I’m just not. Focusing on looking like a 22 year old fitness model… It’s just not what God’s calling me to.  Focusing on health, on living… This is what God’s called me to. And if the next 104 weeks are mostly sick or injured, I’m ok with that. Because I’m still able to do what He wants, when He wants, and honestly, that’s enough. Let me repeat that: THAT. IS. ENOUGH.

As long as I'm strong enough for this, I'm strong enough!

2 Responses to “Only God is limitless”

  1. Kimberly February 26, 2012 at 9:26 am #

    I enjoyed reading thank you for sharing! Also enjoyed reading about going vegan :0)

  2. Beth February 26, 2012 at 12:23 pm #

    That lesson of not being able to “do it all / be it all” – i.e. not being limitless – is one we all need to be reminded of over and over. Thanks for the reminder.

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