Adventures in vegetarianism. With “vegan around the edges”

4 Feb

Our family has had one of those really weird weeks. To give a short history, my husband is the 4th of 5 boys. His dad was one of 5 kids. And all of the people with their surname can EAT. And what they can especially eat is meat. Lots and lots of meat. Papa Jim, my father-in-law, once ate 5 chickens at an all day cookout. There were witnesses. (And, unfairly, he wasn’t overweight!) When the 5 boys got together, they could go through a bushel of oysters in a couple of hours. My husband has been known to complain if I serve 2 dishes in a week that don’t include lumps of protein (ground up protein doesn’t count). So.

On Monday, I made some black bean soup to freeze. I had done my week’s menu, since I was starting the new novel on Wednesday, and was making a tofu stir fry for lunch one day, and a soba salad for lunch one day. I typically eat that way for lunch, and then have meat with dinner. So my husband says, “Oh, is that for dinner?”

I say, “No, we’re having fish.” (My husband loves seafood.)

He says, “Well, can I have it for dinner, because I’m eating vegetarian.”

Big block of silence, while I find my voice. “Uhhhhhhh…what?”

He proceeds to tell me a long story about running into an old friend who ran into an old friend… blah blah… Long story short is, the friend has been eating what turns out to be vegan (no eggs or dairy) since the beginning of the year, 6 days a week (having steak and cheese on Sundays), and without giving up his scotch or adding exercise has lost like 12 lbs. So my carnivorous, meat loving, protein shake drinking husband has, in what can only be described as the shock of the decade, decided to do this, too.

Another block of silence. “Uhhhhhh…ok.” (Witty rejoinder, eh?)

At first he didn’t tell me about the eggs and dairy, and he did eat the seafood I’d already purchased the first 2 nights. Our kids have still not recovered from the shock – if there were 100 people in a line up and we had to pick one person who would go vegan, my husband/their father would be the 100th choice. Seriously.

Yesterday morning I said, “So how have your first 4 days as a vegan been?”

He said, “Since when did vegetarian become vegan?”

I said, “When you don’t have eggs and dairy, it’s vegan.”

He said, “Huh. Well, I’m vegetarian with vegan around the edges.”

So. That’s my life. Vegetarian with vegan around the edges. Can you hear the theme music of The Twilight Zone? I’m wondering when the aliens will bring my husband back…


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